A Tribute to My Grandfather

From my view as a child: 

He was tall, 6' 2" to be exact, trustworthy, fun and you better pay attention when he was giving instructions! 

An unexpected "BEEP-BEEP" from behind would send my heart leaping out of my chest like the coyote's when confronted by the Roadrunner wondering, how does he sneak up so quickly!

No problem was too small, no time was considered wasted even if he had to repair the ropes on the swings over and over again.

The joy in his inventions to solve my troubled heart over a broken toy, or to cure boredom by tying string to old tin cans for stilts or if that wasn't the right prescription, there was always a chore to be given. 

A joyous laugh, a deep stern voice, a spontaneous song all to be heard at any corner of the house. 

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From my view as an adult: 

He was tall, 6' 2" even at age 90, trustworthy, never a dull moment and you still better pay attention when he was giving instructions! 

"Hello" from the moment I puled into the driveway and the last one waving good-bye reminding me to wear my seat belt, adjust my mirrors and drive safely.

The stories of hosting camp grounds off the Blue Ridge Parkway with my grandmother at his side hauling their "Little House on the Pavement", to tales of war and his father whom he highly respected.

A born leader trusted by many; A man of his word.

The calls from his friends and neighbors and the jingling of keys as he headed out to meet their needs; a tender heart, a confident mind, a man who would stand by your side.

To a daughter and son he was a consistent father, to his country a veteran, pride in the red, white and blue!

His repetitive words of love and admiration daily directed toward his wife of 66+ years whom he knew to the end, despite the sickness of dementia that would close his eyes one last time.

A joyous laugh, a soft kind word, a look of pleasant surprise when he hears that I'm his granddaughter for the seventh time in a day.

A sinner, a believer, a man now made whole, united with his Savior!

The memories of you Pop-pop will sweeten our loss until we see you again!

 

We all leave behind some kind of memory and legacy. My grandfather, or Pop-Pop as he was known among me, my siblings and cousins, was a loved and important man to many he left behind!

First Year Tidbits

The first year was a good year! Jason passed all his classes, we maneuvered through somewhat of a routine, we met some new friends, Jason made connections with some family medicine doctors and we were able to save some money while comfortably living together with friends. I could write a separate post about each of these and maybe I will later. But for this one, I want to share one of my greatest concerns about being a med school spouse and the tidbits I learned when confronted with these concerns.

One of the bummers you hear about med school is that exams or other important requirements collide with regular life. This is true and was/is the part that I was/am dreading. With the exception of major holidays, most exams or important deadlines this last year conflicted with birthdays, concerts, church events, and of course sports games (thankfully for Jason there's internet highlights and our housemates TV on demand). What I had to realize is that these were small moments of disappointment and even though I hated that he/we had to miss them, I had to just get over it.  But more than this, you will discover that sometimes your spouse needs you to free them from having to choose books over life. As many times as it's appropriate, take the initiative to tell them you understand and are okay with why they can't attend something with you or that the both of you need to miss out. Believe me, Jason didn't want to miss out so why make him doubly disappointed? Disappointed that he had to miss out but also disappointed that he disappointed me because we were unable to go together or at all. Most of the small life events we/he missed are events that will come again next year and the next. There might be big moments when your spouse will have to put the books down and sacrifice their education in order to be there for you, so give them the freedom to miss these small moments.

Another tidbit I want to share with you that I observed this last year and will take with me into the next is that, when it comes to going places together you might have to decide what's more important to you. Is it that you arrive on time or that you arrive together? You can't always have both which means you either kiss them and say, "see you there" or exercise patience to wait until the computer can be closed. Make a decision in advanced and be sure to communicate the plan to each other. Communicating the plan to each other is our hardest part but that's just something in general we are working on.

As the end of the school year was within reach, dealing with the collision of life and classes came to a head for us. It was April and May during Jason's final exams, I was apartment hunting/preparing to move to our own place when I became very ill and then my grandfather, who was an important man in my life, passed away. By the time the end of May came I was a whirlwind of emotions! I was excited that Jason was completing his first year, overwhelmed with apartment hunting, I felt a deep sadness getting through my grandfather's funeral, gratefulness that I was just starting to feel better physically and frustration that Jason and I were temporarily living 2 separate lives.... side note: he did put the books down to view apartments and attend my grandfather's funeral, these were some of those important moments that he wasn't going to miss.

In light of these events, not having Jason around was just as difficult as I imagined. But I got over it faster than I expected. Even though we didn't really connect during the day, I at least had him at night to hold onto. Night time isn't usually a good time for us to talk so I just soaked in his presence. Knowing that the end of the year was within reach and the man I fell in love with would returned over the summer once the pressure of the year lifted, is part of what got me through those last few months. It wasn't until 2 weeks after the last day of class that we had a real chance to reconnect and those lonely months quickly faded from memory. Summer break came just in time!

There's one last, but certainly not least thing I must mention. Seeking a relationship with the Lord is what made the biggest difference in calming my longings for comfort. I had friends and of course my family close by but when you know and acknowledge the presence of a God who sympathizes with your weaknesses and hears your heart's desires, it leads you to express to Him that you hurt.  Then, you have a strong desire to trust Him with your longings.  Once you ask God to satisfy your longings and trust that he's able to make a difference there's a peace that comes over you that doesn't make since. Our life circumstances didn't change, they still came like unexpected swells in the ocean, but there was a peace that rested my heart which produced courage to face the day. Some might say I had no reason to feel this way, but that's the mystery of God! You just do and this strengthens you to get through the day. Not day"s" because it's a daily activity of seeking God through the Bible and prayer. Between the waves that loom over you are the times to seek him because the waves will come, but He can be the sandbar that keeps your head above water.

Now, here we are, three weeks into the second year! We are settled in and made a home in our own place again and I really did see Jason's fun and carefree personality return over the summer. He seems refreshed and there's a since of confidence that comes with advancing from MS1 into the second year. You kinda of know what to expect and I feel like for us it's the beginning of a new era. This excites me! Last year was a great experience and I feel that this next year is going to exceed beyond last year! To put it in universal terms (excluding the new tech-y generation!), it's like when cassette tapes turned into CDs and when dial up became wireless internet. What we had was awesome but what came later was much better!